Quarter For My Thoughts

                                                 
“The rent too damn high” my data plan cost more than my voice plan and the dollar store wants to charge me for using the cash back option at the register.

             Lord have mercy why has thou forsaken me?

     Just when I thought this corporate greed couldn’t get any worse I was brought back from the brink by an old familiar face. If your not familiar with this beverage it’s cause you ain't from where I'm from. If you haven’t climbed a chain link fence or played in a school yard covered in more crack vials than concrete than I’m sorry this may not be for you.

      But for those who understand the struggle between income and thirst, I present to you the quarter water. You don’t need Google to tell you what’s inside this shit…ingredients are as follows sugar, water, PURPLE. This high fructose corn syrup tap water creation was peddled in the hood through the vast network of illegal corner stores known as bodegas. For a mere 25 cents you could temporarily quench your thirst (15 minutes) while at the same time increasing your chances for acne, diabetes and a lower sperm count.

     

     What’s more amazing is not that this purple poison continues to flourish in the inner city and a lower income area near you, but that the price has remained unchanged for over 20+ years.  If you don’t think that’s amazing then dammit lets examine the facts. In 1992, a pair of Air Jordans could be purchased for $125, a gallon of gasoline for $1.02 and a McDonald's Big Mac would only set you back $2.19. Today LeBron James wants your non-athletic, skinny jean wearing, below grade level reading at-risk son of a Rikers Island inmate to fork over $300 so they can dominate the basketball courts of XBOX.

     

     Now ask yourself this, how is it papi can maintain to keep his prices level after 20 years but the CEO of Nike, the Saudi Royal Family and Ronald McDonald himself can't. Is papi some kind of business mastermind? Did he graduate valedictorian from the Puerto Rican University of Phoenix? I think not, I think these corporations are pimping us all…word to Stevie J

                                     

The T.O Show vs. The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Courtesy of Bravo for the uninitiated:
The Real Housevives of Atlanta Season 1.
"An up-close and personal look at life in Hotlanta, The Real Housewives of Atlanta follows five glamorous Southern belles — DeShawn, Kim, Lisa, NeNe, and Sheree — as they balance motherhood, demanding careers and a fast-paced social calendar."

I guess the first step to recovery is to admit that there is a problem....Yes I've watched the whole first season of Bravo's hit series The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I caught everything from the fashion show with no fashions to Lisa's threat to "flip Kim over the damn couch" during the reunion special. I also admit I watched the first and quite possible last episode of the T.O Show. So with that being said allow me to reintroduce myself.....

Hello group my name is kant-nok-da-hustle and Im an addict. I thoroughly enjoy watching conniving ass black women bamboozle their way to champagne wishes and pre-paid dreams. Don't get me wrong now, I love my Black women whole heartedly but I keep a special place in my hate-filled heart for chickenheadesque 30-40 somethings on the comeup. I myself have never had more than 2 nickels to rub together and each time I reach in my pocket all I feel is my leg but I know the moment I "make it" in life I will no doubt run out and grab me a caucasian cutie settle down and make some of the finest and most socially acceptable mulatto babies this world has ever seen and that's word to Uncle Ruckus.

So why you hating on the Real Housewives of Atlanta?

First off if these heffas are housewives then call me the maintenance man. They do about as much housework as a one armed field nigger. I guess in the world of reality television the term "real housewife" has about the same credibility as "real world"(MTV). I will however classify them as wives they are joined in the sanctity of marriage under the covenant of cash til divorce do them part. I think the term housewife gives the wrong impression though, these are career women making superficial change in their communities through lavish parties and extravagant hair extensions. Let's take a look at some of the cast. Nene is no doubt the dedicated philanthropist who Im sure works tirelessly on the Twisted Hearts™ logo...I mean foundation. Lets not forget Deshawn who also has her own foundation. The DeShawn Snow Foundation whose primary goal is improving self-esteem in teenage girls. I don't know about yall but I can't think of a better way to raise $1,000,000 in 1 night for my charity than by SPENDING $30,000 (of my spouses money) for an elaborate ball/auction/fundraiser, not selling any tickets to said event, leaving flyers at the mall and then going on TV to invite any and everyone off the street to my ultra exclusive event. Nothing says achievement quite like failure.... I guess philanthropy just isnt for everyone, I always knew that if I had no formal training in textiles, sketching ability, and or sewing I could always be a fashion designer. Apparently I wasn't alone in my ignorance and without further adieu I proudly present to you She' by Sheree coming soon to an outlet mall near you. I wont get into Kim she is a true country singer who under the financed tutelage of Dallas Austin will no doubt go on to sell records to everyone she knows....Much success to these entrepreneurial "housewives" as they embark on yet another season of uncut coonery in stereotypical style thursday at 9pm on Bravo.

Courtesy of Vh1™
The T.O Show
"By any standard, wide receiver Terrell Owens is a superstar. His explosive speed, superb physical conditioning, and dynamic competitive spirit should seemingly translate to off-the-field success in love, family and life. But even at the top of his game, something is missing, and this off-season Terrell Owens finds himself a man in transition."

What's wrong with the T.O Show?

Not a damn thing....Terrell Owens is one of the few athletes that deserves his own show, him and maybe Pacman -Everytime I leave my house somebody gets shot-Jones. The problem is the terribly tenancious diabolical cock blocking duo that is Monique & Kita who I will affectionately refer to as unakike [yoo-nuh-kee-kee] and beumsheka [boom-shee-ka]. The show classifies the pair as Owens "PR rep" and "publicist". Im no public relations expert but I would think a position like that requires that indivual(s) be in constant contact with the various media outlets in an attempt to push the brand that is T.O, not on the phone searching for your long lost sister or in the club recklessly eyeballing your clients soon to be jump off. That is of course what baby mama's are for. I will probably have a lot more to say about this broadcasted trainwreck once I've seen a few more episodes. In closing I think P. Diddy should executive produce all reality shows from here on out. Why you ask, cause nobody and I mean nobody gets coloreds to unite in a common goal and then fight to the bitter ghetto end like DIDDY!!!!!!!!!




May all of your children speak proper English, & may the gates that surround your property keep you safe from common ghetto trash. -S.T.A.R.